Tagged: carrier

Carrier Armada Confusion

by Mungo MacIntyre

The confusion, last week,  about the direction of a US Carrier group is explained by this   transcript of intercept between White House and the US Navy.

CLASSIFIED ECHELON (REDACTED)

Transcript of satphone intercept: 1430 UTC MANILLA station 04152017

WHITE HOUSE SITUATION ROOM, WEST WING to CARRIER GROUP

POTUS:  This is President XXXXX. I need you to steam your boats over to North Korea in a frightening way.

CARRIER GROUP:  What? Really sir? We’re not even going in that direction.

POTUS:  Where are you now?

CARRIER GROUP:  Just past XXXXXXXX. Headed for Australia for an exercise

POTUS: Is Australia far from Korea?

CARRIER GROUP: Quite a long way sir, yes.

POTUS: …..Look the Aussies won’t mind. Their prime minister, Turnbuckle, is a sucker. Can you do Korea now? It’s bigly important. Spicer’s going to pop an artery if CNN bully him again. Bad!

CARRIER GROUP: The Aussies will be mad sir. They’ve put on a barbecue and everything.

POTUS: …….OK, here’s the plan; pop in on the Aussies. Say hi. Eat a few prawns. But get away as soon as you can. Make something up — I do it all the time. Then steam all the boats, the big one and all the little ones, back to Korea as fast as you can.

CARRIER GROUP: OK

POTUS: Have some jets take off like Top Gun. And, do me a favour, put the submarines on top of the water where everyone can see them.

CARRIER GROUP: If you’re sure?

POTUS:  Yeah I’m sure. Oh and… (INAUDIBLE)

CARRIER GROUP: What?

POTUS: …. The guys here are saying; make sure its North Korea you threaten and not South Korea. You guys know they’re different countries right?

CARRIER GROUP: Yep we know that, sir

POTUS: OK we have to be careful to get the right country. People are picky about that sort of thing. Also….

CARRIER GROUP:  What now?

POTUS: Can you drop into to the grocer’s and get a loaf of bread on the way back

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